Some Decisions Can Wait

I know for a fact that I’m a highly ambitious person. Like many others I have dreams that I want to change to reality, and successes that I want to achieve. But like few of them, I don’t really know what I precisely want to do in life.

Within a year or so, I will probably be a university graduate. It’s a big deal of course, because that is when people really start to take you seriously and maybe the point when YOU start to take yourself seriously. But I haven’t done that yet. I’ve always had a knack for creativity - from writing, to photography, to painting - I can proudly say that at some point or the other, I’ve tried it all! (Though I do admit that the people I draw have not evolved from being stick figures).

I wanted to be a photographer someday, and be the proud owner of a studio, and be able to capture the essence of beautiful people and present it to the world through my lens. I wanted to tour around the world, with appointments and photo shoots in Paris or London! But then I lost interest eventually and gave away all the digital photography books and magazines I owned. Then I wanted to be a calligraphy artist. I began writing in various forms of Old English Gothic handwriting, but alas! The ink pot of my calligraphy set dried and I lost interest again. And hence, I’m now stuck with a handwriting that is neither slanting, nor straight, nor cursive.

I can vividly recall wanting to be a psychologist at some point in my life. I was always told that I give fairly good advice, and I can deal well with people since I’m a “peoples’ person”. And no I haven’t yet lost interest in that. It’s just that the place I study in, does not really have many options when it comes to studying Psychology. But there was one subject that I studied back in school - Business Studies - that had a certain segment called ‘Marketing’, that seemed to have grasped my attention. I am not trying to imply that I did fairly well in the subject, because it was quite the contrary. Although, eventually I did realize that my grades ceased to matter. It was the entire idea of the subject that enthralled me. And after much analysis I realized that so far all my ‘phases’ had one thing in common - they all dealt with either creativity or communicating with people. And that is when I instantly pictured myself sitting on a revolving chair in a lavish office, and communicating with people about the ideas and the world that is inside my head.

But maybe it’s still okay to be unsure of what we want to be in life. Maybe this still isn’t my time to take hardcore decisions. I can still make mistakes, correct them, and try a different mistake each day till I get it right. And maybe this way when someday some random person asks me about my dream job, I can respond with pride that “I am actually living my dream right now”.