I'll try not to judge.

Today a stream of my thoughts led me to analyzing the personality of this certain individual in my life. She’s a friend whose existence I’ve been aware of since the 5^th Grade, but I had the privilege of actually getting to know her around 4 years after that. And to this very day, after joining the same university and entering our final year in that institution together, I have never been more grateful of having someone like her in my life.

I doubt I have the courage to allow someone to know me too well. Yes that takes A LOT of courage indeed. I will not be too modest and boast about the fact that it’s always been a bit too easy for me to make friends. I don’t think I’ve come across anyone by far who I found interesting, but did not manage to engage in a conversation with. But this friend of mine, who I call G, is not the kind of person I thought I would have ever been too keen to carry out an entire discussion with.

Back in 5^th Grade, during our French classes, I would see her sitting across the teacher’s desk, completely mesmerized by what was written on the pages of our text book. I even remember smirking to myself at that sight, as I attempted to hide my Walkman from the teacher’s suspicious eyes. It didn’t take me more than a minute to figure out how different our worlds were. And that is why I never bothered paying much attention to the girl across the teacher’s desk.

Fast-forward to four years later. I was shifted to her class. I looked around and saw more studious girls like her, and I don’t remember being more disappointed in all my years of high school! I’m aware that I can be very judgmental, but aren’t we all? My first impression of that girl was that her books, her grades, her school, was all that mattered to her. I spent several minutes observing her every move like a stalker! Because it amused me how very different she was from most people I was used to being around. But it all changed a few months after I finally got to know her. And once again, I’m SO glad it did.

Today, 10 years after the incident in my French class, I know that G is a shy and intelligent girl who has this weird thirst for learning that still amuses me the same way it did before. So maybe we’re two completely different people with barely so much in common. But I realized that maybe that’s not even relevant in the first place! G watches the same movies that I do, spends the same amount of time (if not more!) on Facebook, and likes writing the same way I do. I can talk to her for hours and not get bored because I think she’s one person who really understands me; someone who doesn’t judge me by the friends I have or the things I say. And now that I think of it, the one person I once thought I could never be friends with, is the one friend whose opinion matters most today.

Many a times we tend to miss out countless opportunities because of our misjudgments. Maybe it’s time we tried to avoid judging a situation, and actually give it a shot. Who knows, maybe someday even the mistakes we make will be worth the risk that we take.

I'll Be Your Walking Stick

Today a man of approximately 85 years of life experiences, father of 4 well-established children and 7 grandchildren, approached me regarding my writing. He has been reading a few of my works over the last few years and requested me to write something for him. I found it quite overwhelming because this man has always been such an inspiration to me; with his commendable tolerance for life’s painstaking circumstances, his remarkable presence, and most of all - the tender love and care that he has given to all those around him. I dedicate this article to my grandfather. And to all those grandparents who have brought so much affection to this world, but go away without much appreciation.

As I finished reading aloud the last few words of my 600-word article, I looked up to stare into the eyes of my listener, expecting it to be filled with the usual pride that I witness there. But instead I notice the pair of eyes gazing down, staring at the floor mat trying to avoid my gaze. As he looked up at me eventually, for the first time ever I saw tears in the eyes of my grandfather. After a moment of silence, he just held my hand and asked me to continue writing for as long as I live, and to make him read my works for as long as HE lives. That night I cried myself to sleep because in that one gaze, my grandfather communicated to me all the things that he had kept within himself for many years.

Growing up we tend to take many things for granted. The list soon becomes endless, and we end up with lost friends, distant relationships, and a painful list of misunderstandings. A mother suffers 9 months of pain, and a life time of sacrifice when she brings to this world another life. A father has a countless number of compromises to tend to as he ensures that that little being is fed well, educated at the best institutes, and grows up to be someone respectable. Sometimes what we fail to realize is that they don’t ask for anything in return, perhaps not even gratitude. Sometimes all they need is a little support when they grow old and need looking after.

Hundreds and thousands of grandparents end up in old-age homes. Some of them don’t really have any family of their own to take care of them; while some don’t want to become a burden on anybody, and wish to live their last few days independently. However, the majority end up there as a result of neglected duties. The parental advice that we crave for as youngsters, eventually becomes ‘interference’ in adulthood. Trust me when I say that we cannot even possibly imagine what our grandparents go through when their own children wish to carry on with their lives like these “old folks” aren’t an integral part of it. And in the fast paced world we live in today, the simplicity in the sheer joy of another person’s company is a feeling that is soon going to become extinct!

So if your grandmother is being a little cranky today, it is only because she is lonely. If you think your grandfather is too demanding, maybe it is because he just wants a little attention. It doesn’t take too much trouble to simply be a companion and spare time to listen. :)